Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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