so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
