is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
