I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
