Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
