the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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