The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
