i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
high people should be assigned attendants
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
