i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
