There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
