dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
then he tried to convert me to islam
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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