Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
