I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Enjoy the penises
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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