Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
