Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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