in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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