i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
