It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
