I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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