you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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