You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
