is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
