I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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