Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think i have two assholes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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