Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize