I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize