so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
