dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
