just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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