What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
