I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
