Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize