And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
