So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
