I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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