i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
