So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
