thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
