We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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