dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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