I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
