Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
