Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
