It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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