i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
