He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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