I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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