More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize