I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
