i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
