do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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