she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
