Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize