Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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