i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
