How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
