I just threw up on my dentist
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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