sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
