Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
